Breaking Up Is Hard To Do
The feelings that come with a break up can feel unbearable at times. Learning to sit with our emotions and learn from them is a key process to heal. Another essential component is to have a sound support system around you.
Although made popular in the 1960’s, compliments of Neil Sedaka, these words that “Breaking Up Is Hard To Do” continue to hold weight today.
If you’ve ever experienced a treacherous breakup, you know the subsequent pain can surge over you in many and varying forms.
Frequently, you and your partner may not even be on the same page, one of you perhaps hoping and believing there is something to salvage. It can be tough to let go of one another, made doubly complicated by our tendency, as humans, to seek connection.
Often, breaking up with someone we love can manifest as feelings of loss.
This loss may not even be related to losing your partner but can also pertain to the loss of future dreams and plans associated with the relationship.
Sometimes these feelings of loss can be hard to recognize.
Within this chaos, it can become so easy to turn on ourselves; to place blame; to wonder why we weren’t good enough to make it work.
We punish ourselves for loving, for being committed, for putting our best efforts into something that seemingly fizzled before our eyes.
Wading through these emotions can make one feel like they are at sea, the loss washing over us in tremendous, crashing waves.
Resultantly, it can become so trying to have faith in ourselves, our own inner strength, and the resources we innately possess to prevail and, to somehow, allow ourselves to again be vulnerable and to love.
The healing process becomes clouded, hidden under the murkiness created out of this mix of feelings, often complicated by a magnification of symptoms we have been managing to deal with our entire lives: anxiety, depression, negative self-image, or any number of things.
I implore you not to lose faith, to have empathy for yourself and the pain you are feeling. If you are struggling to find direction amidst the overwhelm, don’t be afraid to lean on your support system; family, friends, co-workers.
If it is further support you seek, an advocate to help you illuminate the path towards healing and growth, I suggest reaching out to a mental health professional.
You will find an individual who can offer you another perspective, which isn’t clouded with bias.
This individual will provide you agency in choosing the best path forward.
Paige Keppler, T-LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
Paige is truly an insightful
How do I know if I am feeling depressed? This question is one of the top google searches surrounding this topic.Stephanie is truly a gifted therapist. She uses humor, transparency, and compassion to utilizing the strengths within her clients to instill hope and foster...
Stress is a normal part of our lives. That being said, the types of things that cause stress to particular people do vary as well as the manner in which people manage it. Stress can originate from both external sources as well as internally in the manner in which we...
Since Covid 19 has spread across the world, more people are seeking mental health. Unfortunately, the virus has also forced us to think of alternative ways of receiving care beyond the traditional face-to-face appointments. In this video, Pete Campie gives several...
A lot of stress and anxiety comes from not knowing how to manage other people's expectations of us. Too often, we feel like we have to fulfill all these expectations out of fear of letting people down. However, part of developing a complete sense of self is to...
When you are feeling the feelings of love, it seems like nothing wrong could happen. Unfortunately for our society, when this feeling dissipates, our loyalty tends to fade. To truly thrive in a marriage, you will need more than just the feeling of love. Learn more...
The inner critic can be one of the least understood parts that we have to help us manage our fear of rejection and emotional pain. The key to overcoming the critic is learning how to show compassion. It is part of the human experience to interact with...
Trust is one of the most important qualities every committed relationship must have. Learn how to build and maintain trust.
A lot of couples have a hard time staying calm during arguments. This can lead to bitterness and resentment. This article seeks to help couples to remain calm during fights.
Research has shown that we are increasingly more stressed out and filled with more anxiety. Learn what you can do to help yourself or a loved one.
Doing therapy with both teens and their fathers can be very difficult. There are many ways to do this type of counseling wrong, but Brandon shows exactly what needs to be done to overcome the difficulties